Notice of moving

Today I did it - I finalised my decision to be found at wordpress. Those with google accounts or blogger accounts, I apologise for the inconvenience this might cause and ask sincerely for you to not quit following me, even though I have now moved. I'd miss you!

Besides, wordpress has the wonderful e-mail notifications feature, if you sign up under the stalkers-panel. n_n'

Clicky here to get to the new plaec, and thanks for bearing with me!

Procrastination appreciation station

Today, I am going to talk about procrastination.

*sigh*

Yes, that horrible demon (extremely funny joke, you'll find out later why) that takes the time and motivation out of, well, everyone who has to do, er, basically anything at all at a certain timeframe - and sometimes when it just has to be done (and one knows that it has to be done, because otherwise it can't be really called procrastination, but "having a good time").

Isn't it ironic that I'm talking about procrastination while I should be writing my novel, so in a manner, I'm procrastinating?

Besides, I don't really know what I should say about procrastination, other than that it sucks and stuff gets too interesting and attractive so that I haven't been writing my novel for two days - just been thinking about it. And I know, I know, this talk about how I haven't been writing and I should motivate myself to writing and that I'm scared I'll never carry through probably annoys you by now, because that's basically all I talk -- and think -- about currently.

Didn't stop me from killing lots of demons (see, see, here comes the joke) on Devil May Cry 4, which, if I may flaunt, has brilliant graphics due to that graphics card father bought me. Therefore, next ensues the drooling over videogames paragraph. Or two. Let us see...

Somehow, even though I've been banging at it (hee-hee) for some while now, I still suck. A lot. Especially when you have to stop playing Nero (link opens to a picture of him - a picture that is totally misleading [and kind of a spoiler, but not really], because that's him in his devil trigger mode and he's really not that cool, pretty much on the contrary, as he's a whiny bitch) and take up playing as Dante (so, shameless fangirl here, but DAMN HE'S AWESOME), because ok, so Dante is awesome and has been around for a while, therefore is faster and stronger and other forms of more awesome than Nero, but Nero has this convenient grabby arm that I basically use to fly around, grabbing enemies and merrily slamming them into the ground before they know what hit them - and when they do, off I go again. Dante has nothing like that, so suddenly, I find myself under attack from a LOT of places. Especially those Alto and Bianco Angelos (yep, pic again, and both of them are enemy types in the game - and Altos are a lot cooler than the Biancos, but also more difficult to kill) with their damned LANCES and SHIELDS and with Nero, you could get behind them as easy as any, but Dante has to just keep thrusting stuff against their shields and hope they don't KEEL MEEEEE~

... Ok, so maybe there's a strategy somewhere, I should try using Trickster mode to move faster than they do, but MY REACTION TIME IS NOT THAT FAST. Besides, getting behind an enemy is kind of difficult because half of the time, you have nooo idea whatsoever where you're going, because the game's meant for Play Station 3, and for the easier camera controls of that thing. When I play, I already have one hand occupied with keeping me moving, and the other trying to hit everything that moves, so I'd need a third hand to rotate the camera when it, in unpredictable (and usually really inconvenient) places and instances jumps into another angle entirely. And then there's just plain stupidity - like the first level you play with Dante, they actually throw you, before you even properly know how to CONTROL the character, into the midst of a pack of (ok, lesser, but WHO CARES IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT MATTERS) demons, with the camera pointing straight at Dante. And the wall behind Dante.

Er, hello, how does seeing the character I am controlling (except for witnessing the fact that he's gorgeous and how happy I am for controlling him [oooh Dante, I could control you all day long] instead of that whiny bitch with an incredibly cool arm) help me any?!

Cough.

So, that was my fangasm of the day. I might continue going on about the Studio Ghibli movies (by Hayao Miyazaki) I've seen today, including Princess Mononoke, The Cat Returns and Totoro, but I think your brains might melt if it went to that...

As a conclusion, I've done nothing productive today and I may be losing my grip of reality, but hell, I've had a lot of fun. *grins merrily*

Oh, and as an afternote, I'm considering moving to Wordpress - I'm not entirely sure yet, but keep on the lookout for news about that. I'd obviously link you all to there, but yeah~

Cheerleading self

So, I haven't posted since my drooling of Scrivener (I got the license for it, btw, now me and it are inseparable FOREVER), and this is mainly because nothing much has happened. It seems that it's always like this on holidays - I don't have much to do (except homework, but I'm still ignoring that one, too), and therefore I do absolutely nothing, not even the stuff I am supposed to do!

At this stage, the stuff that I'm supposed to do consists of doing my homework (the most important and concerning parts are reading the books for English and Literature [two separate subjects, I am insane, I know] and generally practicing French, something that I really need to pick up on for next year) and finishing my novel. Well, since the end of NaNoWriMo, which means December, I have written some 16,000 words (as people who are stalking the progress bar - if there are any - must know; and this places my novel just about at 175,000 words) for the latter goal - an amount of words which I, ridiculously enough, consider insufficient. I mean, I wrote 50,000 words in 8 days in November, and now it's already been 7 days, and I'm not even HALF-WAY to the SAME GOAL?!

The more concerning bit is that I seem to be losing interest/inspiration in writing my story at all. It all feels so repetitive (well, it's bound to, this is chapter 26 of 44 I'm talking about), because my fellowship always thinks of the same things and always pauses and cowers (which I'm getting them over with, but seriously, ugh) every time something new happens. Hell-o, my dear fellowship, you're in a dimension where there's magic and wonderful things and sure, everything doesn't always make sense, but do you have to be such a bunch of whiny bitches?!

Yes, I am blaming my characters for it!

... But seriously, I'll have to get down to doing something, if I really want to finish this novel at any point. I've seen the symptoms I'm experiencing before, and if I honestly don't lift my head up and press forward regardless of the fact that I kind of don't want to, I won't reach a part in the novel I will like to write, and therefore I'll just end up leaving it there, and once I get back to it after a month or two, I will have lost the touch of the novel and going back to the part will be increasingly difficult. I've come this far! I can't stop now!

Besides, father ordered the NaNoWriMo '09 t-shirt and the winner t-shirt for me, now I'll really have to win, or I'll be too ashamed to wear the damn things (once they arrive)!

GO ME!

Drooling over software

While I am waiting for my father to come back home to lend me his credit card (that's something I really wait for in turning 18 - getting my own credit card and being able to shop online, woo) in order to buy a total license for Scrivener, I will--

Well, I was going to talk about something other (but still writing-related) first, after stating why I am writing about it, but then I thought that after my shameless product replacement (and announcing the fact that I use a mac - and love brackets), I should at least talk about this piece of software that has changed my life.

Don't get me wrong - I still don't understand nothing about computers, and I'm still of the opinion that even though I don't know exactly what's going on with it, I can use it moderately well (except when it crashes; that's when I go to my father). This, and the fact that I sure understand Scrivener (though there still are some features I'll have to work out later, but meh) gives me fairly good grounds to talk about it.

Let's just say that Scrivener has made my life so, so much easier. Since I'm still learning the whole plot outlining thing, having started only, oh, three ideas for novels before, and that was a very primitive write-on-post-it-what-will-happen-next-so-you-will-not-forget, accompanied by some character profiles and so. The next novel I started, when the previous one grew dull, had a more sophisticated system that was thought through more, and that constituted on writing short descriptions of what will happen into my notebook, and that, too, was how Following the Gay Umbrella (the third novel, after I had abandoned the second one in lack of interest) began.

And that was the problem. Do you know how hard it is to look for a specific note you have made in one of your either word documents when plotting and wanting to remember some plot thread or crucial idea, only to forget that it exists later, and then to remember, and wonder what it was and where you put it? If you know, I'm totally with you, and if you don't, you should really be reading something else -- no, no, don't go, I was kidding!

*coughs*

Anyway, what I'm trying to say that combined with Scrivener's general idea of being a binder, something you can stick all your beloved ideas and plot threads and character profiles and outlines and other random bits and pieces without having to lose them somewhere in the folder you created into the folder you created for the characters, which was in a folder you created for the first chapter of your novel, which was in the folder for the first draft in the folder for your novel. The beauty of Scrivener is that you can still create all these folders (if you are as turned on by folders as me, ha-ha-ha-harrumph), but you can still see all their innards in one glance.

And even if you lose some specific bit or piece of information, you can still look for it - there is a marvelous search function that saved me from probably hours of skimming through my novel, trying to find this specific paragraph that would tell me just how many moons Crazyland has (three, if anyone was interested).

I could ramble on about Scrivener's superiority to your mum (sorry, too much Zero Punctuation for me) for ages and ages on, but basically all I'm trying to say is this: if you're as fond as me to see everything you're doing (and if you forget that it's there if you can't see it, like I do), but if you're simultaneously as addicted to neat organisation as my mum (really, this needs to stop), Scrivener is for you.

... Except, of course, if you have the misfortune to use a pc.

Oh, and did I mention that it looks perfectly streamlined and fabulous and I am going to send invitations for our wedding soon?

One foot after the other

Dear ladies and gentlemen,

This ----->

is me

(and a picture shamelessly stolen off the internet, but shh)

For three days in a row.

... So ok, maybe I'm not running as fast as I can, but at a seriously slow speed that allows me to BREATHE properly, but at least I'm doing it, and while I still don't feel like doing it, I'M STILL DOING IT.

Running, that is (if the illustration wasn't enough for you, you blind person -- then again, the guy might be just standing on one foot, how do we know). Of course, my left leg is getting a blister on its underside because it doesn't like my runner, and my toes are beginning to hurt (as I begin to suspect that my runners are a littttle too small for me, but that won't be an issue until my toes fall off, so MEH), and when I'm not running, I hobble around looking really comical because of the hurt I experience in my muscles, but I'm running, goshdarnit (yeah, I'm trying to get out of my habit of swearing and saying "goddamnit")!

Why and how do I do it?

Well, remember how I said, like, two posts ago that I had started running again because I had no reason not to? Same story this time. I used to do synchronized skating, and I used to basically be fit as a, well, I can't come up with any proper anecdote right now, but you get the picture! Now, I don't actually do any sports at all, and it's a shame, because I have the knowledge and tools to make my core strength and fitness basically pretty decent -- all I am lacking is a reason to do it, and determination, because just because you've done a sport before doesn't mean that you necessarily like ALL sport.

I hate exercising.

But I'm still running, because it takes only about 40 minutes of my day, and I do nothing much else with my days, and I'm a healthy (except for my breathing problems, but that might just be something else, so I'll just ignore them) young woman who is in her prime - so I should be fit. It's a fact of life.

Before you ask, yes, this is basically how I motivate myself into doing things, by guilt-tripping myself into believing that there is no other way than to just stop whining and put the effort in, and though it may not be that nice, at least it works.

For now.

I'm just waiting for the loss of determination with fear...

Still going on about novels, hide

Now that I have written some thousands of words today, I am feeling slightly better about this whole noveling business today - one of the reasons being that yes, I have a counter again, and I have a forum other than NaNoWriMo to share the pain of creation in:

National Novel Finishing Month, NaNoFiMo!

Well, sure, it ain't as pretty as the real NaNoWriMo site, but currently, I just can't stand seeing people who are celebrating the ends of their novels when I has as much as (yes, I calculated with my calculator of doom, again - somehow it's a lot more calming to see the numbers you need to achieve than just the general feeling of OH ME GAWD I HAFTA WRITE SOME MORE) 137,000 words to write in order to, approximately, finish this novel.

... And, since I am a dork like that (and I found a better template on the site I posted the last counter from), I made a new counter to reflect this goal. I made the counter based on the fact that the frozen wordcount for November on the NaNoWriMo site is 158,388 (so this number of words is excluded from the counter), and then, according to the average count of words for a chapter, calculated (and rounded up) the total number of words my novel will be (based on current statistics, of course), and thus calculated, by simple subtraction, the words I will need to write to achieve this goal. Here you can see the not-very-visually awesome counter:

Oh, and before I keep on going about my novel, I will link you and go on about this magnificent candyblog I found last night, just because I spent most of the night (instead of writing my novel, I know), making lasting physical and mental damage to my pillow by drooling all over it, and I think damage like that is just worth sharing.

Since I have not much more to add to this, and since I've been so very bad with the whole telling-about-my-novel-but-not-actually-allowing-anyone-to-see-the-story thing, I will post some more excerpts for the, well, benefit of my, er, few readers. ... Yeahh. By the way, I didn't mean it to happen in that way, but the boys obviously disagreed with me...!

“Nicholas?” asked a familiar male voice in a very unfamiliar way, woven with concern (that was uncertain, as if not used for very long, as if discarded or put on hold somewhere, to have it appear rusty when drawn out next time). The black-haired boy opened his eyes again, not having noticed that he had closed them - and then startled, seeing as Sebastian had somehow moved very close and pulled him away from the rest of the fellowship, still working their own, curling and coiling anger, helplessness and non-understanding from the lump of emotions that worked their ways into the surface in the oddest, most out-of-place times (which served to agitate the fellowship further; the knowledge that they shouldn’t be doing this now and here), and also away from now two very confused cherubs, holding their private counsel somewhere else, not very respectful or understanding toward the fellowship they were glancing toward every now and then. Nicholas was also aware of the fact that Sebastian was very close, and his usually icy eyes were not almost unreadable.

“You’ve figured something,” the blonde boy said, and it wasn’t a question, even though his unreadable look did take a questioning tint to it, and a fleeting smile curled at the blonde boy’s mouth with a tilt of his head. “Out with it, then,” the boy continued, “Let us hear it!”

Nicholas, having calmed down from his earlier burst of enlightenment and understanding and annoyance due to events, was only mildly irritated by the request - and that was merely because he was left speechless, with a hot and prickly feeling threatening to spill salty liquid from his eyes, his mouth gaping open and his breath leaving him in a rush of gratitude. He closed his mouth, blinked slowly to will away the tears and breathed shakily in, out, then wet his lips with a swipe of his tongue and only then braved a glance toward Sebastian’s uncharacteristically warm gaze, something that suggested that while Sebastian was callous and — oh, Nicholas could not deal with this, it was like from a bad novel or something, honestly, so predictable and he had to swipe a hand over his eyes just to keep himself in check and not embarrassing himself in front of a friend that had been jokingly flirting — Nicholas, just, be quiet, he told himself firmly.

It's OVER?!

NaNoWriMo 2009 for the region of Melbourne, Australia closed some 24 hours ago - and I am a WINNER!

*gasps of shock can be heard from the audience*

Er, so I finished with a grand total of 158,388 words in 30 days - not too bad, if I say so myself, even if it is some 40,000 words off from my initial goal of 200,000 in a month. Then again, I forgive myself this trespass, since it was my first year of NaNoWriMo after all, and failing slightly in the first year is perfectly acceptable!

Aw, don't look at me angrily like that, I know I did great - but I also know that I didn't finish my novel and I could have pushed myself a lot more. I am happy for having been able to write that much in so little time, but I'm also trying not to be too relieved for NaNo being over - if I allow myself to relax now, it might be that I'll never finish this novel, either! Oh noes!

Therefore, I'm saving the great partying for later - for when my novel's first draft is finally done - something I aim for before Christmas. I can do this, if only I have motivation enough...

The thing is, that things other than writing are slowly seeping back into my life. My exams and my school year for this year are officially over, however, on my table right there, there is this pile of books for English and Literature, sitting, staring, taunting me silently - in a way that made me so upset today that I abruptly picked them up and shoved them into the closet. Out of sight, out of mind, right?

Except for the fact that my obligations for the holidays aren't really out of mind. The sad fact is that I do need to read that pile of books, and the sour, additional comment to that is that they're mostly books I'd never pick up on my own and really won't enjoy reading. Hooray for summer holidays, sigh - not to talk about the pile of other homework I have, because that'd just depress me too much!

Oh, and here is a progress bar for the estimated total length of my novel, and how I'm doing with this (and yes, generally I'm posting this here just because the close of the word progress bar on NaNoWriMo made me slightly sad and panicky, since I can't see my word count climbing - at least now I can see somehow how I'm doing, and it currently doesn't look too promising)! Exclamation mark!

EDITED 2. 12. 09.

Deleted progress bar in favor of the one in the post above.

Er. Well, I guess that's all I had for now. Geez, my life is boring...

p.s. From now on, since this ain't NaNoWriMo anymore, I'll be using the tag "FTGU" (if you do not know what this is an abbreviation for, you REALLY need to read more of this blog) rather than the NaNoWriMo one.

EDIT: Well, I did have to edit to add that I have taken up running! And baking, as it seems, from what I did this morning - nevertheless, I am sore but I am happy, and I have made it my job, during these holidays, to get fit again, because I know I have the capacity to, since I used to be a really good ice skater (ha-ha-ha) and everything. However, I've only been running for two days now, so one never knows how long this determination lasts, really, but I'm hoping I might carry this through, eh?

And on another note, Christmas shopping really scares me a lot more than the fact that I'll be in my last year of high school next year. Holeeeee, when did I get so many friends? D:

Oh, and another additional note: yes, the bar of progress I posted is actually something for scrapbook layouts or some other crap I didn't understand (I've never tried scrapbooking and some people would agree that what ever keeps me away from scissors is a good thing), but it seems to work for a wordcount mighty fine - except for the annoying talk about layouts, or something. Ignore that, and look at the bar instead!