*gets shot*
ANYWAY. So, NaNoWriMo is in a total of, uh... 31 days (yes, I had to check the calendar, shut up)! I'm getting really, really, really excited, and simultaneously really, really, really anxious and nervous, too. I'm not nervous about the writing thing in general -- well, that was a lie, yes I am, but more about that later -- but more about the whole combining of exams and writing thing. I've been having serious problems with maths just lately, and I need to concentrate properly on at least a few of my subjects (ok, so maths and chemistry, but so what) to get it right. I'm trying to tell myself that it doesn't really matter how I do in year eleven exams, but the problem is that I don't manage to convince myself of it. And I'd need to pass, anyway.
Now someone (with half a brain, unlike me) would be thinking that why on Earth would I have even planned to do NaNo, if I already knew, from the very beginning, that it would at least half way overlap with exams? That is a very good question, and I have a very bad answer for it. I wasn't thinking it would actually require that much work. Ok, 50 000 words does seem like a lot, but I write a lot anyway and I don't have any other hobby than writing and rolling around at home (I have a job, though, but that's only a shift a week, so I can deal with that), so I thought that well, I'll have enough spare time. I don't think I realised that if I begin planning early enough (in this case it was a few months earlier, I think I enlisted into this year's NaNo already in April or May and YES I HAVE A THING WITH BRACKETS), the story would actually start feeling like a story.
Like a real story.
Like something with a real world and real characters and a real plot.
I've never really felt this way, well, I have (and I will do this with the other idea for a novel I had and hope that it becomes as satisfying a project as this one), but this one is really my first I believe I may finish.
Emphasis on the "may."
Oh, I know I should believe in myself and all, but I just can't emphasise enough about the massive proportions this story is taking. I don't worry about school and generally breeze through it with good grades, but I'm HONESTLY beginning to worry, and that should be indication of how deeply involved I'm with this story. I'm thinking about it all the time, I'm painfully aware of the fact that there are so many things to bring up and tie together before this thing is over.
I mean, just last night I had the joyous feeling, something along the lines of "it's just gonna be breezing downhill from here on, I have a clear idea of what's going to happen, yippee!" and then I realised, in a sudden, dreadful moment of clarity, that I haven't even introduced my secondary antagonists yet in my plot outline.
CRAAAAAAAAP. (excuse me, anyone who is offended by my crude language)
Let's just say that I've been feeling like I'm in the middle point of my story for the past, uh, five thousand words of my plot outline? Or more? For the past four/five scenes?
But! I'm not discouraged! I have a good feeling about this, and DAMN WELL will I at least finish this one, if I have to ignore any coming plot holes, just so that I can say that I have finished a NaNovel. I CAN DO THIS.
... I hop-- NO, BAD ANNA. BAD, BAD ANNA.
Okay, going to plot outline now. Good luck to any fellow NaNoers!
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