I hate my story, I hate most of my characters, I hate the fact that I can't write just one point of view but have to skip in between all of them, I feel like I'm grasping for most of the story anyway - I hate the fact that I've managed to write almost ten chapters without giving my fellowship a sense of direction. I hate my fellowship, too, because they're nothing like I told them to be, and I hate that I don't think I really have a story - what the hell is my story about, anyway? I hate that I can't write stories with clear plots, clear climaxes and clear-- I feel like I CAN write, but I'm a remarkably bad storyteller.
I currently also hate the fact that I don't have a life. I hate waking up in the morning, playing some DS or reading something or just going through those three pathetic sites I always go through on the internet, I hate that I don't really seem to even enjoy surfing the internet anymore, I can't even find anything there - I hate that I have one friend I could do things with, because I'm drifting away from the other one and the third one is in university and we don't really do things together anyway. I hate that, and then I hate the fact that regardless of my complaints, I'm not planning on going to the birthday party I magically got invited - because I'm too afraid I'd feel left out.
I just want to do something, be something, feel that there's something to hang on to - and I hate when even my story does that, goes on tangents that don't MEAN anything, because it just represents the total futility of life I feel half the time.
I hate that I have to be complaining about this, time after time after time after fucking time, because there's nothing wrong with my life.
But how can there be something wrong when there is NOTHING it can be WRONG WITH?
Don't worry; just hang on in there- I'm sure your story is amazing, you've just got to believe in it, and keep going with the plot; if not, then just leave it for a little while and come back to it; it'll wait.
ReplyDeleteAs for your friends, if you feel not so much like friends anymore, it isn't the end of the world- it would be nice to stay in touch, but people change, just like interests change; maybe you could join a club or start a new hobby and make some new friends for yourself - it may also help to give you some meaning.
I'm sorry if you feel like I intruded, but when someone says stuff like that, so similar to me and my friends, I just feel like offering advice and a hug; and as I can't really give a hug over the internet, I hope this advice helps.
Oh, I don't feel like you've intruded, I'm happy that you did say something. Thank you for sharing your advice, it really makes me feel better. n_n~<3
ReplyDelete*spreads e-hugs*
I stumbled in here from the NaNo forums and - well, Jesus. It was like I was reading my own thoughts back to me. Especially the thoughts about the novel. If you're anything like me, there will be days in which you will love it unconditionally anyway, even if you do think it's crap.
ReplyDelete